Worry and stress have a very large and negative impact on our health, including physical. Not only do they occupy our thoughts and do not allow us to concentrate on what is important to us, spoiling every day. Those that stay with us for long enough can manifest themselves in physical ailments throughout the body, which turn out to be difficult to diagnose. For a long time I had severe pains in the area of ​​my neck, which no one was able to do anything about. The tests showed nothing that could cause the ailments that made me miserable every day. Only the relaxation recommended by my therapist helped me get rid of the pain. Worry, that was what made me feel just bad. I’m worried, but how can I not worry here? Some time ago I came across Dale Carnegie’s book “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”, at that moment I needed something that would explain to me where my worries and problems come from. I didn’t expect this position to be the solution to all my problems, I rather needed a reference point and an opportunity to look at everything I do from a completely different perspective.

Do something, let yourself be consumed by passion

As I read more and more, with each chapter I realized that at some point my worries took over my entire life. Every thought was tied to what I was worried about, work, health, and everything else. I spent every free moment thinking. I didn’t even try to focus my thoughts on my passions and interests, i.e. what helps me get away from my problems, clear my head and try to look at them from a different perspective, coolly, without additional emotions. I rejected sewing, recording videos for the channel, instead of throwing myself into work, I threw myself into an endless whirl of thoughts.

Don’t worry about the little things

I’m a master at getting my head around the little things. If someone asked me what my super power is, I could answer that I can make a trivial and minor problem grow in my head to a world scale that has a significant impact on my life. Constantly thinking about small things makes me fall into a flood of thoughts from which it is difficult for me to get out. Of course, I don’t mean to reject each of the trivial matters, but I think it’s worth determining how important a given issue is and dedicating the right amount of your time and energy to it.

Consider how much your life is worth a thing and don’t spend any minute more on it

Broken glass, lost wallet or bad test results? Before you start thinking about it, think about how important the thing you are thinking about is for you. We women are very prone to constantly analyzing and dedicating our time to everything around us. Very rarely do we even think about whether it’s worth it at all? Is this thing worth spending a significant part of our day on? Therefore, before you throw yourself back into the whirl of analysis, think about how much your time is worth a given case, and then just don’t come back to it. Constant rethinking never adds anything new.

How likely is it that the scenario in your head will happen at all.

I’m not an optimist, but I wouldn’t call myself a pessimist either, I would define myself as a realist. If I encounter any problems, I always try to assume the worst-case scenario. However, I never thought about how likely it was that a given scenario would happen at all. It turns out that relatively rarely. Of course, I’m not encouraging you to calculate probability here, but if you’re a pessimist and you see the outcome of every situation in negative colors, maybe it’s worth rethinking all aspects and considering whether the scenario you assume has a chance to happen at all?

What’s done cannot be undone

And if so, then it’s worth just accepting it. For some time, the problem of reconciling myself with my fate was stuck in my head. I was mentally punishing myself all the time for making mistakes that I couldn’t avoid in my life. Instead of just accepting them, learn from them and move on. I felt a sense of regret and injustice. Why me, why is all this happening to me? I learned a mechanism that was very destructive for me. I used to cry over spilled milk. Looking back at many of these behaviors, I realize in retrospect how much I sabotaged myself and how much it affected my well-being. What’s done is done, and today I see no reason why I should feel sorry for what turned out to be unpleasant for me.

Look for a reason to be happy

Some time ago, I locked my keys in the garage, denying myself access to both the garage and the house. Unfortunately, at the same time my other half was a thousand kilometers away from me. Removing the lock by a locksmith and replacing it with a new one cost me a lot of money and nerves. The next day I was laughing at myself. Rather than dwell on the negative emotions caused by the extra expense, I thought of the whole situation as an expensive lesson for me. At least now I know how to remove locks from doors. It’s worth trying to see something positive in everything, no matter how hopeless the situation is.

Don’t expect much, especially gratitude

Think about how many times you have been disappointed by someone’s behavior towards you, response or reaction to the help you offered. Very often it happens that when we give something from ourselves, we expect something in return, even gratitude. Our expectations are one of the reasons that often bring us disappointment and let us down. To avoid this, it’s best not to expect anything. Help and give for the joy of it. More than once I have learned, the hard way that there is nothing worse than unfulfilled expectations that leave behind a very unpleasant feeling of disappointment.

Don’t waste a minute of your time thinking about people you don’t like

This is one of the pieces of advice I have taken to heart. Thanks to it, over the last few days I have started to do more and more cleaning in the accounts that I follow on social media and in friends that I would rather not see there. There’s nothing wrong with not liking someone. The bad thing is, being stuck in “relationships” that do us more harm than good. It’s not worth spending your time on them, let alone worrying about them.

Don’t worry about insomnia, no one has died from it yet.

If you can’t sleep, just don’t go to bed. Do something that will consume your thoughts, instead of lying and stressing that you can’t fall asleep again. In this way, the time that you would normally spend lying in bed and worrying that you will not be able to sleep in for work or lessons, use it for something that will help you develop. Writing, reading and even studying.

Live here and now

Separating yourself from the past and not dwelling on what happened, but also not predicting the future and not thinking about what lies ahead, is one of those pieces of advice that may sound trivial. However, after a deeper consideration, it seems to be one of those that will protect us from thinking and unnecessarily focusing on something that may not happen at all or has already happened, and we can’t do anything about it. I will admit that for a long time I was a master at predicting future events in my life. I tried to analyze everything, anticipate what could happen and prepare for possible situations, which in the vast majority of cases never happened at all.

The answer to the question “How do I stop worrying?” it’s not that easy and obvious. There is no one specific answer. Worry, however, is a very subjective matter, depending on us and our feelings. Therefore, it is worth looking at yourself, your behavior and learned thinking mechanisms, these may turn out to be what makes us fall into a spiral of worries like a hamster on a wheel, but the hamster actually enjoys it. Does worrying about something over which you have little control bring you any joy, or does it change anything at all?